Yesterday was my day off so I put in some quality hours at the gym. I started off with a swimming lesson and then after my lesson I practiced for a good 45 minutes. It was super hot outside so I decided that I would use the indoor track. I learned that my gps does not track well in indoor places so I'm not quite sure how far I went. I finally ended my workout with a 5.6 mile bike ride while listening to the I have a dream speech in honor of the march on Washington 50th anniversary.

Yesterday was a good day, I won't go into details but I went to an amazing concert and it was beautiful. As I drove home from Nashville I had sometime to think on what I saw and heard I'm still processing the amazing music I heard.

Feeling completely blissful.

I told someone I was training for my first Triathlon and they asked "for next year?" When I told them I was doing it in November I could tell they didn't think I would be able to do it. It kind of made me angry but at the same time I guess I can understand, I don't exactly look like an athlete. 

I'm not going to deny that I've had my doubts about being able to complete this triathlon but today I was thinking about the incredible feeling I will have when I complete it, even if I'm the last person to cross the finish line I will be able to say I'm a triathlete. I have a burning desire to know what that feels like. So no matter how slow my progress is I will press on. 

Plan for tomorrows workout

1. 8:15 yoga at the Civic Center

2.Run 35 minutes (week 5 day 1 I have never made it this far before)

3. Bike 6 miles on stationary bike

4.Practice in the pool 45 minutes

As I type this it seems like a lot but this week I will only be able to go to the gym on Tuesday and Wednesday so I have to fit it all in on one day. I will succeed!

Week 4 Day 3

Today's inner monologue:
"I have until Sunday to finish my four runs for the week why don't I just take a break today?"
"Oh but look at what you had for lunch and supper today!"
'You had way to much. That weight you've been losing is going to come right back, if you start being a lazy slob again Kendra."
 "I'm not a lazy slob! I just don't feel like going today"
"Man the f***k (freak) up and GO!"
Today so many feelings of self doubt and loathing were swirling through my mind. Why do I let people dictate how I feel! Well I channeled those feelings of frustration, self loathing, doubt,  and anger into my run today. I can't say those feelings are gone but I have a sort of self satisfaction that will get me through the rest of the night.

Cheesy Motivational Quote of the Day

Week 4 day 2

Today was rough. I was feeling tired and achy today and I definitely did not want to go running. I did go running today, and as I went my self confidence begin to plummet. All these doubts began to creep in, "Why did you sign up for that triathlon kendra? You can't even run a straight mile yet, its literally been years since you've entered the water, August is almost over you don't have a bike!" As I type these words down I'm becoming scared. Is it actually possible for me to teach myself how to swim? I've spent almost $200 dollars so far towards this goal of mine. I cannot give up just yet. I need to dig a little deeper and work a lot hard  so that my dream of completing this Tri is realized.

I need to figure out a plan to boost my morale.

The worst possible thing that could happen is if I quit, I can't quit.

I need to learn how to swim.

I need to believe in myself.

I did enjoy this song today as I ran

Week 4 Day 1

I've started a new Blog! There are a few reasons for this, lately I have found that I am starting to blog more than I used to. I don't know how long this will last but until I become too busy to blog all the time or I get bored with it, I thought it would fun to blog about my adventures as a novice runner.

Today I began week 4 day 1 of my couch to 5k program. I  ran longer than I ever have in my whole entire life. That I know of. Its exhilarating to know that its all me thats doing this no one is helping me. I am entirely self motivated, it was me who told myself when I looked at my cell and it said that I had 2:34 left on the clock, it was me who ran on despite the voice in my head that said I wouldn't be able to do it.

When I say this I sound boastful and proud. I don't mean for it to come out that way but for years I've been so down on myself when it comes to exercise, academics, life in generally. I always felt second to others, who ever first said we are own worst critic was so right.

As a side note I'm going to try to be more real on this blog. I don't think I care who reads this but I'm not going to advertise that I started a new running blog what if I quit...
So back to running and self confidence I guess what I'm trying to verbalize is that it has helped me to accept my self and build confidence in myself. Even though each run isn't going to be perfect the fact that I'm willing to go back and try again the next day is a step in the right direction.

How do I know that I am a runner? Today I didn't have to force myself to go out and do it, I wanted to run. :)